Report CopyRight/DMCA Form For : By Ernest Hemingway
excursion from Paris s Left Bank to Pamplona for the July fiesta and its climactic bull fight a journey from the center of a civilization spirtually bankrupted by the First World War to a vital God haunted world in which faith and honor have yet to lose their currency the novel captured for the generation that would come to be called Lost the spirit of its age and marked Ernest Hemingway
Flyleaf , Published in 1926 to explosive acclaim The Sun Also Rises stands as perhaps the most impressive first. novel ever written by an American writer A roman clef about a group of American and English expatriates on an. excursion from Paris s Left Bank to Pamplona for the July fiesta and its climactic bull fight a journey from the. center of a civilization spirtually bankrupted by the First World War to a vital God haunted world in which faith. and honor have yet to lose their currency the novel captured for the generation that would come to be called Lost . the spirit of its age and marked Ernest Hemingway as the preeminent writer of his time . This book is for Hadley, and for John Hadley Nicanor. You are all a lost generation , GERTRUDE STEIN IN CONVERSATION. One generation passeth away and another generation cometh but the earth abideth forever The sun also ariseth . and the sun goeth down and hasteth to the place where he arose The wind goeth toward the south and turneth. about unto the north it whirleth about continually and the wind returneth again according to his circuits All the. rivers run into the sea yet the sea is not full unto the place from whence the rivers come thither they return. again , ECCLESIASTES, BOOK ONE, 1, Robert Cohn was once middleweight boxing champion of Princeton Do not think that I am very much. impressed by that as a boxing title but it meant a lot to Cohn He cared nothing for boxing in fact he disliked it but. he learned it painfully and thoroughly to counteract the feeling of inferiority and shyness he had felt on being. treated as a Jew at Princeton There was a certain inner comfort in knowing he could knock down anybody who was. snooty to him although being very shy and a thoroughly nice boy he never fought except in the gym He was. Spider Kelly s star pupil Spider Kelly taught all his young gentlemen to box like featherweights no matter whether. they weighed one hundred and five or two hundred and five pounds But it seemed to fit Cohn He was really very. fast He was so good that Spider promptly overmatched him and got his nose permanently flattened This increased. Cohn s distaste for boxing but it gave him a certain satisfaction of some strange sort and it certainly improved his. nose In his last year at Princeton he read too much and took to wearing spectacles I never met any one of his class. who remembered him They did not even remember that he was middleweight boxing champion . I mistrust all frank and simple people especially when their stories hold together and I always had a suspicion. that perhaps Robert Cohn had never been middleweight boxing champion and that perhaps a horse had stepped on. his face or that maybe his mother had been frightened or seen something or that he had maybe bumped into. something as a young child but I finally had somebody verify the story from Spider Kelly Spider Kelly not only. remembered Cohn He had often wondered what had become of him . Robert Cohn was a member through his father of one of the richest Jewish families in New York and through. his mother of one of the oldest At the military school where he prepped for Princeton and played a very good end. on the football team no one had made him race conscious No one had ever made him feel he was a Jew and hence. any different from anybody else until he went to Princeton He was a nice boy a friendly boy and very shy and it. made him bitter He took it out in boxing and he came out of Princeton with painful self consciousness and the. flattened nose and was married by the first girl who was nice to him He was married five years had three children . lost most of the fifty thousand dollars his father left him the balance of the estate having gone to his mother . hardened into a rather unattractive mould under domestic unhappiness with a rich wife and just when he had made. up his mind to leave his wife she left him and went off with a miniature painter As he had been thinking for months. about leaving his wife and had not done it because it would be too cruel to deprive her of himself her departure was. a very healthful shock , The divorce was arranged and Robert Cohn went out to the Coast In California he fell among literary people. and as he still had a little of the fifty thousand left in a short time he was backing a review of the Arts The review. commenced publication in Carmel California and finished in Provincetown Massachusetts By that time Cohn . who had been regarded purely as an angel and whose name had appeared on the editorial page merely as a member. of the advisory board had become the sole editor It was his money and he discovered he liked the authority of. editing He was sorry when the magazine became too expensive and he had to give it up . By that time though he had other things to worry about He had been taken in hand by a lady who hoped to. rise with the magazine She was very forceful and Cohn never had a chance of not being taken in hand Also he was. sure that he loved her When this lady saw that the magazine was not going to rise she became a little disgusted. with Cohn and decided that she might as well get what there was to get while there was still something available so. she urged that they go to Europe where Cohn could write They came to Europe where the lady had been educated . and stayed three years During these three years the first spent in travel the last two in Paris Robert Cohn had two. friends Braddocks and myself Braddocks was his literary friend I was his tennis friend . The lady who had him her name was Frances found toward the end of the second year that her looks were. going and her attitude toward Robert changed from one of careless possession and exploitation to the absolute. determination that he should marry her During this time Robert s mother had settled an allowance on him about. three hundred dollars a month During two years and a half I do not believe that Robert Cohn looked at another. woman He was fairly happy except that like many people living in Europe he would rather have been in America . and he had discovered writing He wrote a novel and it was not really such a bad novel as the critics later called it . although it was a very poor novel He read many books played bridge played tennis and boxed at a local. gymnasium , I first became aware of his lady s attitude toward him one night after the three of us had dined together We. had dined at l Avenue s and afterward went to the Caf de Versailles for coffee We had several fines after the. coffee and I said I must be going Cohn had been talking about the two of us going off somewhere on a weekend. trip He wanted to get out of town and get in a good walk I suggested we fly to Strasbourg and walk up to Saint. Odile or somewhere or other in Alsace I know a girl in Strasbourg who can show us the town I said . Somebody kicked me under the table I thought it was accidental and went on She s been there two years and. knows everything there is to know about the town She s a swell girl . I was kicked again under the table and looking saw Frances Robert s lady her chin lifting and her face. hardening , Hell I said why go to Strasbourg We could go up to Bruges or to the Ardennes . Cohn looked relieved I was not kicked again I said good night and went out Cohn said he wanted to buy a. paper and would walk to the corner with me For God s sake he said why did you say that about that girl in. Strasbourg for Didn t you see Frances , No why should I If I know an American girl that lives in Strasbourg what the hell is it to Frances . It doesn t make any difference Any girl I couldn t go that would be all . Don t be silly , You don t know Frances Any girl at all Didn t you see the way she looked . Oh well I said let s go to Senlis , Don t get sore . I m not sore Senlis is a good place and we can stay at the Grand Cerf and take a hike in the woods and come. home , Good that will be fine , Well I ll see you to morrow at the courts I said . Good night Jake he said and started back to the caf . You forgot to get your paper I said , That s so He walked with me up to the kiosque at the corner You are not sore are you Jake He turned. with the paper in his hand , No why should I be , See you at tennis he said I watched him walk back to the caf holding his paper I rather liked him and. evidently she led him quite a life , 2, That winter Robert Cohn went over to America with his novel and it was accepted by a fairly good publisher . His going made an awful row I heard and I think that was where Frances lost him because several women were. nice to him in New York and when he came back he was quite changed He was more enthusiastic about America. than ever and he was not so simple and he was not so nice The publishers had praised his novel pretty highly and. it rather went to his head Then several women had put themselves out to be nice to him and his horizons had all. shifted For four years his horizon had been absolutely limited to his wife For three years or almost three years he. had never seen beyond Frances I am sure he had never been in love in his life . He had married on the rebound from the rotten time he had in college and Frances took him on the rebound. from his discovery that he had not been everything to his first wife He was not in love yet but he realized that he. was an attractive quantity to women and that the fact of a woman caring for him and wanting to live with him was. not simply a divine miracle This changed him so that he was not so pleasant to have around Also playing for. higher stakes than he could afford in some rather steep bridge games with his New York connections he had held. cards and won several hundred dollars It made him rather vain of his bridge game and he talked several times of. how a man could always make a living at bridge if he were ever forced to . Then there was another thing He had been reading W H Hudson That sounds like an innocent occupation . but Cohn had read and reread The Purple Land The Purple Land is a very sinister book if read too late in life It. recounts splendid imaginary amorous adventures of a perfect English gentleman in an intensely romantic land the. scenery of which is very well described For a man to take it at thirty four as a guide book to what life holds is. about as safe as it would be for a man of the same age to enter Wall Street direct from a French convent equipped. with a complete set of the more practical Alger books Cohn I believe took every word of The Purple Land as. literally as though it had been an R G Dun report You understand me he made some reservations but on the whole. the book to him was sound It was all that was needed to set him off I did not realize the extent to which it had set. him off until one day he came into my office , Hello Robert I said Did you come in to cheer me up . Would you like to go to South America Jake he asked . No , Whynot , I don t know I never wanted to go Too expensive You can see all the South Americans you want in Paris. anyway , They re not the real South Americans , They look awfully real to me . I had a boat train to catch with a week s mail stories and only half of them written . Do you know any dirt I asked , No , None of your exalted connections getting divorces . No listen Jake If I handled both our expenses would you go to South America with me . Why, You can talk Spanish And it would be more fun with two of us . No I said I like this town and I go to Spain in the summertime . All my life I ve wanted to go on a trip like that Cohn said He sat down I ll be too old before I can ever do. it , Don t be a fool I said You can go anywhere you want You ve got plenty of money . I know But I can t get started , Cheer up I said All countries look just like the moving pictures . But I felt sorry for him He had it badly , I can t stand it to think my life is going so fast and I m not really living it . Nobody ever lives their life all the way up except bullfighters . I m not interested in bull fighters That s an abnormal life I want to go back in the country in South America . We could have a great trip , Did you ever think about going to British East Africa to shoot . No I wouldn t like that , I d go there with you , No that doesn t interest me . That s because you never read a book about it Go on and read a book all full of love affairs with the beautiful. shiny black princesses , I want to go to South America . He had a hard Jewish stubborn streak , Come on down stairs and have a drink . Aren t you working , No I said We went down the stairs to the caf on the ground floor I had discovered that was the best way to. get rid of friends Once you had a drink all you had to say was Well I ve got to get back and get off some cables . and it was done It is very important to discover graceful exits like that in the newspaper business where it is such. an important part of the ethics that you should never seem to be working Anyway we went down stairs to the bar. and had a whiskey and soda Cohn looked at the bottles in bins around the wall This is a good place he said . There s a lot of liquor I agreed , Listen Jake he leaned forward on the bar Don t you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and. you re not taking advantage of it Do you realize you ve lived nearly half the time you have to live already . Yes every once in a while , Do you know that in about thirty five years more we ll be dead . What the hell Robert I said What the hell , I m, It s one thing I don t worry about I said . You ought to , I ve had plenty to worry about one time or other I m through worrying . Well I want to go to South America , Listen Robert going to another country doesn t make any difference I ve tried all that You can t get away. from yourself by moving from one place to another There s nothing to that . But you ve never been to South America , South America hell If you went there the way you feel now it would be exactly the same This is a good. town Why don t you start living your life in Paris . I m sick of Paris and I m sick of the Quarter , Stay away from the Quarter Cruise around by yourself and see what happens to you . Nothing happens to me I walked alone all one night and nothing happened except a bicycle cop stopped me. and asked to see my papers , Wasn t the town nice at night . I don t care for Paris , So there you were I was sorry for him but it was not a thing you could do anything about because right away. you ran up against the two stubbornnesses South America could fix it and he did not like Paris He got the first idea. out of a book and I suppose the second came out of a book too . Well I said I ve got to go up stairs and get off some cables . Do you really have to go , Yes I ve got to get these cables off . Do you mind if I come up and sit around the office . No come on up , He sat in the outer room and read the papers and the Editor and Publisher and I worked hard for two hours . Then I sorted out the carbons stamped on a by line put the stuff in a couple of big manila envelopes and rang for a. boy to take them to the Gare St Lazare I went out into the other room and there was Robert Cohn asleep in the big. chair He was asleep with his head on his arms I did not like to wake him up but I wanted to lock the office and. shove off I put my hand on his shoulder He shook his head I can t do it he said and put his head deeper into his. arms I can t do it Nothing will make me do it , Robert I said and shook him by the shoulder He looked up He smiled and blinked . Did I talk out loud just then , Something But it wasn t clear . God what a rotten dream , Did the typewriter put you to sleep . Guess so I didn t sleep all last night , What was the matter . Talking he said , I could picture it I have a rotten habit of picturing the bedroom scenes of my friends We went out to the Caf . Napolitain to have an aperitif and watch the evening crowd on the Boulevard . 3, It was a warm spring night and I sat at a table on the terrace of the Napolitain after Robert had gone watching. it get dark and the electric signs come on and the red and green stop and go traffic signal and the crowd going by . and the horse cabs clippety clopping along at the edge of the solid taxi traffic and the poules going by singly and. in pairs looking for the evening meal I watched a good looking girl walk past the table and watched her go up the. street and lost sight of her and watched another and then saw the first one coming back again She went by once. more and I caught her eye and she came over and sat down at the table The waiter came up . Well what will you drink I asked , Pernod , That s not good for little girls . Little girl yourself Dites garcon un pernod , A pernod for me too . What s the matter she asked Going on a party , Sure Aren t you . I don t know You never know in this town , Don t you like Paris . No , Why don t you go somewhere else , Isn t anywhere else . You re happy all right , Happy hell , Pernod is greenish imitation absinthe When you add water it turns milky It tastes like licorice and it has a. good uplift but it drops you just as far We sat and drank it and the girl looked sullen . Well I said are you going to buy me a dinner , She grinned and I saw why she made a point of not laughing With her mouth closed she was a rather pretty. girl I paid for the saucers and we walked out to the street I hailed a horse cab and the driver pulled up at the curb . Settled back in the slow smoothly rolling fiacre we moved up the Avenue de l Op ra passed the locked doors of. the shops their windows lighted the Avenue broad and shiny and almost deserted The cab passed the New York. Herald bureau with the window full of clocks , What are all the clocks for she asked . They show the hour all over America , Don t kid me . We turned off the Avenue up the Rue des Pyramides through the traffic of the Rue de Rivoli and through a. dark gate into the Tuileries She cuddled against me and I put my arm around her She looked up to be kissed She. touched me with one hand and I put her hand away , Never mind . What s the matter You sick , Yes , Everybody s sick I m sick too . We came out of the Tuileries into the light and crossed the Seine and then turned up the Rue des Saints P res . You oughtn t to drink pernod if you re sick , You neither . It doesn t make any difference with me It doesn t make any difference with a woman . What are you called , Georgette How are you called . Jacob , That s a Flemish name , American too , You re not Flamand . No American , Good I detest Flamands , By this time we were at the restaurant I called to the cocher to stop We got out and Georgette did not like. the looks of the place This is no great thing of a restaurant . No I said Maybe you would rather go to Foyot s Why don t you keep the cab and go on . I had picked her up because of a vague sentimental idea that it would be nice to eat with some one It was a. long time since I had dined with a poule and I had forgotten how dull it could be We went into the restaurant . passed Madame Lavigne at the desk and into a little room Georgette cheered up a little under the food . It isn t bad here she said It isn t chic but the food is all right . Better than you eat in Liege , Brussels you mean . We had another bottle of wine and Georgette made a joke She smiled and showed all her bad teeth and we. touched glasses , You re not a bad type she said It s a shame you re sick We get on well What s the matter with you . anyway , I got hurt in the war I said , Oh that dirty war . We would probably have gone on and discussed the war and agreed that it was in reality a calamity for. civilization and perhaps would have been better avoided I was bored enough Just then from the other room some. one called Barnes I say Barnes Jacob Barnes , It s a friend calling me I explained and went out . There was Braddocks at a big table with a party Cohn Frances Clyne Mrs Braddocks several people I did. not know , You re coming to the dance aren t you Braddocks asked . What dance , Why the dancings Don t you know we ve revived them Mrs Braddocks put in . You must come Jake We re all going Frances said from the end of the table She was tall and had a smile . Of course he s coming Braddocks said Come in and have coffee with us Barnes . Right , And bring your friend said Mrs Braddocks laughing She was a Canadian and had all their easy social. graces , Thanks we ll be in I said I went back to the small room . Who are your friends Georgette asked , Writers and artists . There are lots of those on this side of the river . Too many , I think so Still some of them make money . Oh yes , We finished the meal and the wine Come on I said We re going to have coffee with the others . Georgette opened her bag made a few passes at her face as she looked in the little mirror re defined her lips. with the lip stick and straightened her hat , Good she said . We went into the room full of people and Braddocks and the men at his table stood up . I wish to present my fianc e Mademoiselle Georgette Leblanc I said Georgette smiled that wonderful. smile and we shook hands all round , Are you related to Georgette Leblanc the singer Mrs Braddocks asked . Connais pas Georgette answered , But you have the same name Mrs Braddocks insisted cordially . No said Georgette Not at all My name is Hobin , But Mr Barnes introduced you as Mademoiselle Georgette Leblanc Surely he did insisted Mrs Braddocks . who in the excitement of talking French was liable to have no idea what she was saying . He s a fool Georgette said , Oh it was a joke then Mrs Braddocks said . Yes said Georgette To laugh at , Did you hear that Henry Mrs Braddocks called down the table to Braddocks Mr Barnes introduced his. fiancee as Mademoiselle Leblanc and her name is actually Hobin . Of course darling Mademoiselle Hobin I ve known her for a very long time . Oh Mademoiselle Hobin Frances Clyne calIed speaking French very rapidly and not seeming so proud and. astonished as Mrs Braddocks at its coming out really French Have you been in Paris long Do you like it here . You love Paris do you not , Who s she Georgette turned to me Do I have to talk to her . She turned to Frances sitting smiling her hands folded her head poised on her long neck her lips pursed. ready to start talking again , No I don t like Paris It s expensive and dirty . Really I find it so extraordinarily clean One of the cleanest cities in all Europe . I find it dirty , How strange But perhaps you have not been here very long . I ve been here long enough , But it does have nice people in it One must grant that . Georgette turned to me You have nice friends , Frances was a little drunk and would have liked to have kept it up but the coffee came and Lavigne with the. liqueurs and after that we all went out and started for Braddocks s dancing club . The dancing club was a bal musette in the Rue de la Montagne Sainte Genevieve Five nights a week the. working people of the Pantheon quarter danced there One night a week it was the dancingclub On Monday nights. it was closed When we arrived it was quite empty except for a policeman sitting near the door the wife of the. proprietor back of the zinc bar and the proprietor himself The daughter of the house came down stairs as we went. in There were long benches and tables ran across the room and at the far end a dancing floor . I wish people would come earlier Braddocks said The daughter came up and wanted to know what we. would drink The proprietor got up on a high stool beside the dancing floor and began to play the accordion He had. a string of bells around one of his ankles and beat time with his foot as he played Every one danced It was hot and. we came off the floor perspiring , My God Georgette said What a box to sweat in . It s hot , Hot my God , Take off your hat , That s a good idea . Some one asked Georgette to dance and I went over to the bar It was really very hot and the accordion music. was pleasant in the hot night I drank a beer standing in the doorway and getting the cool breath of wind from the. street Two taxis were coming down the steep street They both stopped in front of the Bal A crowd of young men . some in jerseys and some in their shirt sleeves got out I could see their hands and newly washed wavy hair in the. light from the door The policeman standing by the door looked at me and smiled They came in As they went in . under the light I saw white hands wavy hair white faces grimacing gesturing talking With them was Brett She. looked very lovely and she was very much with them . One of them saw Georgette and said I do declare There is an actual harlot I m going to dance with her Lett . You watch me , The tall dark one called Lett said Don t you be rash . The wavy blond one answered Don t you worry dear And with them was Brett . I was very angry Somehow they always made me angry I know they are supposed to be amusing and you. should be tolerant but I wanted to swing on one any one anything to shatter that superior simpering composure . Instead I walked down the street and had a beer at the bar at the next Bal The beer was not good and I had a worse. cognac to take the taste Out of my mouth When I came back to the Bad there was a crowd on the floor and. Georgette was dancing with the tall blond youth who danced big hippily carrying his head on one side his eyes. lifted as he danced As soon as the music stopped another one of them asked her to dance She had been taken up by. them I knew then that they would all dance with her They are like that . I sat down at a table Cohn was sitting there Frances was dancing Mrs Braddocks brought up somebody and. introduced him as Robert Prentiss He was from New York by way of Chicago and was a rising new novelist He. had some sort of an English accent I asked him to have a drink . Thanks so much he said I ve just had one , Have another . Thanks I will then , We got the daughter of the house over and each had a fine a l eau . You re from Kansas City they tell me he said , Yes . Do you find Paris amusing , Yes , Really , I was a little drunk Not drunk in any positive sense but just enough to be careless . For God s sake I said yes Don t you , Oh how charmingly you get angry he said I wish I had that faculty . I got up and walked over toward the dancing floor Mrs Braddocks followed me Don t be cross with. Robert she said He s still only a child you know , I wasn t cross I said I just thought perhaps I was going to throw up . Your fianc e is having a great success Mrs Braddocks looked out on the floor where Georgette was. dancing in the arms of the tall dark one called Lett . Isn t she I said , Rather said Mrs Braddocks , Cohn came up Come on Jake he said have a drink We walked over to the bar What s the matter with. you You seem all worked up over something , Nothing This whole show makes me sick is all . Brett came up to the bar , Hello you chaps , Hello Brett I said Why aren t you tight . Never going to get tight any more I say give a chap a brandy and soda . She stood holding the glass and I saw Robert Cohn looking at her He looked a great deal as his compatriot. must have looked when he saw the promised land Cohn of course was much younger But he had that look of. eager deserving expectation , Brett was damned good looking She wore a slipover jersey sweater and a tweed skirt and her hair was. brushed back like a boy s She started all that She was built with curves like the hull of a racing yacht and you. missed none of it with that wool jersey , It s a fine crowd you re with Brett I said . Aren t they lovely And you my dear Where did you get it . At the Napolitain , And have you had a lovely evening . Oh priceless I said , Brett laughed It s wrong of you Jake It s an insult to all of us Look at Frances there and Jo . This for Cohn s benefit , It s in restraint of trade Brett said She laughed again . You re wonderfully sober I said , Yes Aren t I And when one s with the crowd I m with one can drink in such safety too . The music started and Robert Cohn said Will you dance this with me Lady Brett . Brett smiled at him I ve promised to dance this with Jacob she laughed You ve a hell of a biblical name . Jake , How about the next asked Cohn , We re going Brett said We ve a date up at Montmartre . Dancing I looked over Brett s shoulder and saw Cohn standing at the bar still watching her . You ve made a new one there I said to her , Don t talk about it Poor chap I never knew it till just now . Oh well I said I suppose you like to add them up . Don t talk like a fool , You do , Oh well What if I do . Nothing I said We were dancing to the accordion and some one was playing the banjo It was hot and I felt. happy We passed close to Georgette dancing with another one of them . What possessed you to bring her , I don t know I just brought her . You re getting damned romantic , No bored , Now , No not now . Let s get out of here She s well taken care of , Do you want to . Would I ask you if I didn t want to , We left the floor and I took my coat off a hanger on the wall and put it on Brett stood by the bar Cohn was. talking to her I stopped at the bar and asked them for an envelope The patronne found one I took a fifty franc note. from my pocket put it in the envelope sealed it and handed it to the patronne . If the girl I came with asks for me will you give her this I said If she goes out with one of those. gentlemen will you save this for me , C est entendu Monsieur the patronne said You go now So early . Yes I said , We started out the door Cohn was still talking to Brett She said good night and took my arm Good night . Cohn I said Outside in the street we looked for a taxi . You re going to lose your fifty francs Brett said . Oh yes , No taxis , We could walk up to the Pantheon and get one . Come on and we ll get a drink in the pub next door and send for one . You wouldn t walk across the street , Not if I could help it . We went into the next bar and I sent a waiter for a taxi . Well I said we re out away from them , We stood against the tall zinc bar and did not talk and looked at each other The waiter came and said the taxi. was outside Brett pressed my hand hard I gave the waiter a franc and we went out Where should I tell him I. asked , Oh tell him to drive around , I told the driver to go to the Parc Montsouris and got in and slammed the door Brett was leaning back in the. corner her eyes closed I sat beside her The cab started with a jerk . Oh darling I ve been so miserable Brett said , 4, The taxi went up the hill passed the lighted square then on into the dark still climbing then levelled out onto. a dark street behind St Etienne du Mont went smoothly down the asphalt passed the trees and the standing bus at. the Place de la Contrescarpe then turned onto the cobbles of the Rue Mouffetard There were lighted bars and late. open shops on each side of the street We were sitting apart and we jolted close together going down the old street . Brett s hat was off Her head was back I saw her face in the lights from the open shops then it was dark then I saw. her face clearly as we came out on the Avenue des Gobelins The street was torn up and men were working on the. car tracks by the light of acetylene flares Brett s face was white and the long line of her neck showed in the bright. light of the flares The street was dark again and I kissed her Our lips were tight together and then she turned away. and pressed against the corner of the seat as far away as she could get Her head was down . Don t touch me she said Please don t touch me , What s the matter . I can t stand it , Oh Brett , You mustn t You must know I can t stand it that s all Oh darling please understand . Don t you love me , Love you I simply turn all to jelly when you touch me . Isn t there anything we can do about it , She was sitting up now My arm was around her and she was leaning back against me and we were quite calm . She was looking into my eyes with that way she had of looking that made you wonder whether she really saw out of. her own eyes They would look on and on after every one else s eyes in the world would have stopped looking She. looked as though there were nothing on earth she would not look at like that and really she was afraid of so many. things , And there s not a damn thing we could do I said . I don t know she said I don t want to go through that hell again . We d better keep away from each other , But darling I have to see you It isn t all that you know . No but it always gets to be , That s my fault Don t we pay for all the things we do though . She had been looking into my eyes all the time Her eyes had different depths sometimes they seemed. perfectly flat Now you could see all the way into them . When I think of the hell I ve put chaps through I m paying for it all now . Don t talk like a fool I said Besides what happened to me is supposed to be funny I never think about it . Oh no I ll lay you don t , Well let s shut up about it . I laughed about it too myself once She wasn t looking at me A friend of my brother s came home that. way from Mons It seemed like a hell of a joke Chaps never know anything do they . No I said Nobody ever knows anything , I was pretty well through with the subject At one time or another I had probably considered it from most of its. various angles including the one that certain injuries or imperfections are a subject of merriment while remaining. quite serious for the person possessing them , It s funny I said It s very funny And it s a lot of fun too to be in love . Do you think so her eyes looked flat again , I don t mean fun that way In a way it s an enjoyable feeling . No she said I think it s hell on earth , It s good to see each other .